Secret secret!

Here are some secrets/things you may not know about me.

1. I wear a pad (feminine hygiene) everyday. I don’t know how or why I got into the habit, but after having one to many times asking someone for a pad and having them say they had only a tampon, I started wearing them everyday.

2. I’ve always had a problem with my bladder. I remember I used to pee my pants everyday, in school, at home, even sometimes when I knew I had to go to the bathroom and just didn’t. It was a weird thing for me. I’d hold it as long as I could, then race to the bathroom, trying to make it in time. I never did. This ended up resulting in a lot of underwear changes, and lame excuses in elementary as to why I was wet. No one ever called my bluff, and I had plenty of friends. I was never labeled the girl that smelled like pee. One day, my dad told me that if I peed my pants, I couldn’t watch TV. I was good that whole day at school, and came home completely dry. I watched TV, and peed my pants on the couch instead of going to the bathroom. I was strange. I haven’t wet the bed in forever (Okay, there had been one recently, but it was after a surgery, and I wasn’t conscious).

3. I’m a chapstick junkie. I hate it when my lips are dry. I will carry chapstick with me just about everywhere, even amusement parks. I had a girlfriend once that teased me about my love for carmex. I had other tell me that they’d stop kissing me if I didn’t lay off the gross tasting chapstick.

4. I’ve been on some from of birth control since I was 12. They thought it would help my crazy periods. When I’m not on BC, I had periods that last 2-3 months at a time. It’s embarrassing for me, and the cramps are terrible. I often feel like I’m about to pass out when I’m on my period. Occasionally I have passed out, in school and at home, but I’m very cautious and don’t let many know what’s going on.

5. I was diagnosed with clinical depression at the same age as the last one. I have been on Lexapro, Prozac, Zoloft, Welbutrin, and now they’ve finally put me on Cymbalta. Apparently I’m not clinically depressed anymore, I’m bipolar. Yeah, kind of a big step, crazy doctors.

6. I’ve been in therapy for a long time. No one knows why I’m so depressed, why I hate my body, or why I cry over stupid things. I get sick a lot, so the doctors know my by my first name. They’re always telling me my therapists are stupid, and visa versa.

7. I was raised southern Baptist. My parents and I went to church every Sunday. I would go to Sunday School and color scenes of Samson and Delilah. I wasn’t allowed to watch the Smurfs or the Power Rangers. After a while, my parents became more liberal. I was allowed to dress up for Halloween, and after a while, we stopped going to church. God hasn’t talked to me since I was 12, so I’m beginning to think he isn’t real. We’ll see.

8. I slept in my parents bed, every night, until I was 11. Lame, I know. I didn’t even have my first sleep over until I was 9, and even then I couldn’t sleep at all. I also kissed my mom and dad before I went to sleep every night. That stopped when I started kissing boys and thought it was creepy to kiss them and then my dad in the same day.

So there you go. There are some weird things that you may have not known. You may think, “Wow, weirdo,” but I’m a pretty normal girl.